This weekend just passed was Clark Atlanta University’s homecoming, in which, I attended the tailgating on Saturday to see a few people from college. I got a chance to sit down with a good female friend of mine and we were discussing a situation about a young lady from my past that decided to not deal with me anymore and chose a mutual acquaintance of ours to be involved with because I didn’t give her a title. The title in our very simple situation of “courtship” for lack of a better word.

My opinion was simple for me, I didn’t need a title to know where I stood or what I was doing and since I was doing everything for her and being the best guy I could be by my actions, a title was not important to me. Well of course , my female friend, thought i was wrong and should have given her the title. She said, “if it didn’t matter, then you should have did it to make her happy.” Well I didn’t agree because I think it was childish to have to be happy because of a title. If she wasn’t happy with the actions, what was a title going to do? And, if she was happy with the actions and consistent gestures what was a title going to change?

Here are top 5 Reasons for no titles in my humble opinion:

1. Time After Time: If your boo is spending all day on the phone with you, all day texting you, and hours upon hours at your house or you at theirs. Does it really matter what you call each other as long as you enjoy the time you share together?

2. The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Every Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Birthday or Two Week Anniversary they give you a gift, so is being a special friend really that bad?

3. Generic Questions: How was your day? Did you enjoy dinner? Does your feet hurt? Can I get you anything? If your title-less lover really cares about the answers to any of these questions you could call them Frankenstein and still fall in love hard

4. Satisfaction: If you’re beyond pleased in the bedroom. Is any other name beside the person’s government important?

5. Nothing: The moment when they hold you in their arms, or when they lay in yours, and nothing matters. Ask yourself at that moment if they called you their Bonnie to their Clyde would it even matter?

Now, I am currently single but I enjoyed when I had a girlfriend, it was amazing, so that’s cool but it should be more about the feeling that someone gives you not the title. I had a very special person in my life also and that was even more amazing then when I had a girlfriend. The feeling I had and shared with her was priceless.

I told her I would wait to discuss this because she wanted to bring it out in the light and see what others thought. In the time, I have did a little research on the issue because I am such a know it all at times. A study showed that 4 out of 7 relationships of people surveyed thought their relationship got worst when the title came into play. The 3 out 7 did admit that the relationship was a lot more fun and passionate but they were determined to be happy and they did succeed but they realize that the title did change their perception.

Another study depicted about 39% of people being together longer and just enjoying each others company longer and more honestly when there was no title. The term ‘Life partner” or “Significant Other” reigned supreme…
so it is possible for people to be better off not following the script and just going with the flow until the time was right. Maybe people that yearn for titles are looking for some since of accomplishment to show off to his/her friends and the world because when you don’t have a title most people get uncomfortable about explaining situations. Normally, when you say this is my “girlfriend, this is my boyfriend, My fiancee, my wife, my husband, my baby momma, my baby daddy..etc” there are not many follow up question pushing you to explain.

I still think there should be an open line off communication regardless and make sure everyone is on the same page but the only title that is important is the one that requires a ring, and a vow, all the others are irrelevant and just because one person wants the title doesn’t mean they have to force the issue on the other. Most people will loose when they give an “ultimatum type request” on the title. What are you thoughts? Be honest…